Welcome to Marmee's Pantry

Welcome to Marmee's Pantry

Monday, January 18, 2010

Socially Retarded...By God's Grace

{Originally written 4/06}

(1 Peter 4:4-5) - "They think it strange that you do not plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation, and they heap abuse on you. But they will have to give account to Him Who is ready to judge the living and the dead."
(1 Sam. 16:7) - "...The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

WHAT in the world is going on in the clothing industry lately?! I have 2 teen daughters [this was in '06, they are now 22 & almost 19] and we can hardly find anything suitable for them to wear...thank the Lord for Eddie Bauer and L. L. Bean or they wouldn't have a modest pair of jeans to put on.

At any given day, a trip to the mall, a view of the TV screen or a gander at a magazine cover in the checkout line can be an eye-opening experience. What's a Christian parent raising Christian teens to dress modestly to do? Even well-meaning gift-giving relatives have bought into the world's corrupt ideas of "fashion" when it comes to birthday and Christmas presents.

I'm very bold when it comes to protecting my family and I am NOT above returning a gift or tactfully declining to accept one. Of course, we get met with those questioning looks, but I will not dress my girls like prostitutes, nor will I let anyone else.

I know that I'm not the only one who feels this way...but why does it seem that no one else is letting the store managers know? Whenever I can't find anything suitably modest enough to buy, or see something that one should be able to SEE is unsuitable for a teen, I often (much to my teen daughters' chagrin) summon the store or department manager and let them know that they are losing a HUGE market. "Not everyone wants to dress their daughters like street walkers."

Most of the time, I get that "well there's nothing I can do about it" answer, to which I reply, "You can tell your buyers." (I didn't spend 8 years in retail for nothin'!) There must be others out there getting up the guts to say something about it besides me, because I just read an article saying that "Skin is Out!" for the next fashion season. Of course, they made it a point to say that it had nothing to do with the "Christian Right"...which makes me say a big "hmmmmmmmm...Me thinks thou protests too much!"

Yes, my girls are socially retarded...by God's grace! My children have been raised in a loving Christian home with parents who care enough to say "no" when it's necessary. Parents who have guided them to find "...whatever is true...noble...pure...lovely...admirable...excellent or praiseworthy..." (Phil. 4:8). We have prepared them for how hard it can be to stand up and say, "The emperor has no clothes!" (We didn't realize that it would be LITERAL!) We have reminded them of the many Bible figures who stood alone for the sake of the Lord and His mighty cause. I have reminded them of Elijah and how he thought for sure he was the ONLY righteous man left, but the Lord told him that there were 7,000 who had not bowed their knees to Baal. No matter what the world says, we are NOT alone!

I have reminded them of how young David was chosen by God to be king. Even when his tall, handsome, muscular brothers were paraded about, God told the prophet "no" until the sweet little shepherd who had a way with a harp stepped forward. Even his own dad couldn't believe it! But God looks at the heart - NOT a fashion statement.
Our family might be "socially retarded" as the world sees us...but who has the better reward for how we will live our lives? Not by works, but by the faith we have in Christ and the obedience that faith causes us to walk in. I'm hoping that after our initial shock and disgust at seeing how these girls have been sucked in by the world's lies, that we will remember to pray for them. They were also created in God's image and we must remember..."There, but for the grace of God, go I."

Blessings from Ohio...Kim W<><


  1. Amen! And, yes we do speak up too. Even my mother, who I have had to battle in past over my daughters and modesty, is telling the store managers to tell their buyers that women in our area want some decent, pretty skirts. :)

  2. I agree. I am having the hardest time as a adult. I am not 30 yet. Almost. But there is now happy modest anywhere. Even clothing for adult women are made revealing and tight.

  3. Once again, Kim, thank you for taking a stand about how your girls would dress modestly. We had one daughter and one son. From the time our daughter was primary age (she is now the mother of a son that is junior age)I started sewing for her because we couldn't find decent clothes and I continued to sew for her through her college years.

  4. Oh! Oh! Oh! I loved this. You always have me shouting "Amen, sister!" by the time I'm done reading. I am so disappointed in the way my 12 (yes TWELVE) year old niece dresses. I'm more so disappointed in the fact that her parents and grandparents (my inlaws) let her do so. She dresses just as you said, like a prostitute. It's gotten so bad that even my husband is starting to say things about it. Breaks my heart that there is NO protection for her. What do you do? I voice my opinion, but it falls on deaf ears. It just literally makes me sick...

    Finding any modest clothing is difficult.

  5. Hello. I'm the mother of a child with special needs. A child that wouldn't be turned away by Jesus. In fact, I'd bet pretty much everything in the house that Jesus wouldn't use the word retarded. I know you are a good person and didn't mean to use a slur that demeans and offends people like my child. The truth is you didn't set out today to hurt anyone with your words. Unfortunately, that's what happened. When you use the word retarded it dehumanizes a vulnerable population of human beings.
    I'm sure your daughters will follow your good ways and you will all find suitable pretty clothes that make everyone happy. I just hope that along the way they learn not to use the word retarded.
    Thanks for listening.

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  7. Dear hjacobs,

    Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, today. I'm sorry that the term 'socially retarded' offended you. Maybe it's the difference in the areas you & I are from, but the term 'retarded' isn't offensive in my circle or area. Yes, SOME do use the worn Politically Correct term, 'mentally handicapped', but in my humble opinion, THAT WORD would seem far more offensive to me than a simple word that even in the music industry simply means, 'slow' or literally, as I used it, 'not like the norm.'

    As you saw when reading my blog, I in no way used the term 'retard' or some other derogatory remark. THAT would have been offensive. In my large extended family I have had a mentally retarded aunt & 2 cousins - 1 w/Downs & another injured in a birth accident. But, it seems possible that you jumped to conclusions w/o knowing anything about my family or even the norms of the area of the country I'm from.

    Again, sorry if it offended you, but I feel it is the perfect term to make my point.

    Blessings from Ohio...Kim W<><
    P.S.~I tried to comment on your blog but couldn't.


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