Welcome to Marmee's Pantry

Welcome to Marmee's Pantry

Monday, January 11, 2010

Our Places on the Team

I Cor. 14:33 – “For God is not a God of disorder but of peace.”

James 3:16 – “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder…”

Ever have one of those days when things are so loud and disorderly that if the roof caved in it wouldn’t be a surprise? When the kids are constantly nit-picking each other and the pitch and volume of your voice just keeps getting higher and louder? And then, dear Dad comes home to his loving family only to be bombarded with all the problems. But never fear…SU-permom is here! She’ll just take over Dad’s role as Head of the House and he can exercise his “authority” by gladly giving it all over to her. But…does that really bring peace to the situation? Does that foster love and respect in the wife’s (and children’s) heart when the family leadership roles are reversed?

There will be no peace in our homes until we find contentment by accepting our role in God’s plan for the family. Not accepting our roles is an expression of envy and discontentment and that destroys the peace of our home.

As homeschool mothers/teachers it can be hard to “give up” our leadership role when our husband walks through the door. All day long we’ve been giving the instructions, making the plans; being nurse, taxi driver, peace-maker, cook, teacher and Supreme Court judge. It’s hard to lay that mantle of authority aside when Hubby comes home.

In his Advanced Home Schooling Workshop tape entitled Establishing an Orderly Home, Gregg Harris says, “All order is an outgrowth of purpose.” He goes on to explain that a coach has a goal in mind and therefore decides what places on the team (what roles) each player plays. “Take away the goal post and the play has no purpose.” When we have a goal, or a vision, our various roles will then make sense. When everyone is doing their own “thing” then there is great disorder; disorder brings no glory to God. If we see and participate in our place on the team, we have order; order does bring glory to God.
God’s glory is our goal!
God has specific roles for each member of the family. When women are willing to take their proper place in God’s order they get more of the man they wish they had! We can’t keep going to God in prayer asking Him to make our husbands the godly leader we wish they were if we don’t honor our husbands by letting him assume his role as leader of our home. This is NOT about superiority vs. inferiority, but about places on the team, about restoring the household to its proper place. My friend, Jami S., is one of the most godly women I know. I once heard her say something that I have kept written in my day-timer: “My humbleness will get me further than my pride.” God is a loving God and wants us to understand true submission and my Bible says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Eph. 5:21) That’s reason enough for me!

Moreover, what is our example teaching our children? Oh dear, I hear that old saying running through my head again, “Children learn more from what is caught than taught.” What are my children “catching” from me? Just as viruses have a tendency to work their way through a household this time of year, attitudes also work their way through. What attitude about places on the team work their way (for good or bad) to my children?

As we practice submission to our husbands we ought always hold them up in prayer. Remember, the man carries the heavier burden. He is responsible before God to put his very life on the line, to give his life for us! “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her…” (Eph. 5:25)

I certainly realize that we homeschool moms have a lot on our plates already…but when we live out our roles, peace will begin to reign and those loads might just become lighter. Our attitudes will be turned to respect and a deeper love for our husbands (Eph. 5:33) that our children will “catch” and take with them into their own homes in years to come.

Blessings from Ohio...Kim<><


  1. Kim,you are a dear sister, I love to read. I always glean wisdom and grace from your blog ;) And I LOVE to listen. I love Legends of the Fall and the music is breathtaking .. almost as much as the photography of the movie :)

  2. A few ladies, including myself, have a blog somewhat geared toward younger Christian women and wives (though not limited to, by any means!) and I would really like add your link to it. There are so many good articles you've written, that I know many of our readers would enjoy. You can visit it at cameratismoblog.blogspot.com to see what we're about. We'd love to link back to you, with your permission!

  3. Kim, you are so right about roles in the family. It is important that we all understand our roles and accept them. That goes for any member of the family or any way we wish to delegate the responsibilities of family life. I asked God for such a long time to be a stay-at-home-mom and then when he gave it to me I was lost in how to actually do it. I learned it was way more than “staying at home”; it truly was being a homemaker and family advocate. My biggest problem wasn't that I didn't know how to be a mom; I didn't know how to be a good wife. I didn't have many, if any, really good examples. I often experienced the issue that you illustrate of dad coming home and me not letting go of the leadership role. What really helped was first, prayer for God to help me become a better wife. Second, He showed me that if my husband and I were on the same page regarding rules and schedules in our home from the beginning, it would make it an easier transition for when he did get home. Now when he comes home, I am SO happy that he is there to take the gauntlet. I appreciate the break in leadership he gives me when he comes home...although he doesn't always appreciate having to do it. LOL. But, I learned that I need that break more than I need the control. In a world where we often see men running from their roles as husband and father, I feel so blessed to have a honorable man who is dedicated to providing and protecting this family. I married him because of this, why would I not want him to express it through leadership when he is with us? I either love, respect, and trust him or I don’t. If I don’t, why did I marry him in the first place?


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