1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Monday after Thanksgiving Day.
17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities, Community Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, AND they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays.
20. 4 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you got some sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska , worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snowblades will have you out the next day.