Word-Filled Wednesday ~#142~ Proverbs 31 Pressure

"A wife of noble character who can find?

She is wroth far more than rubies. 

Her husband has full confidence in 

her and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm,

all the days of her life . . . 

She gets up while it is still dark;

she provides food for her family

and portions for her servant girls . . . 

Her husband is respected at the city gate,

where he takes his seat among the 

elders of the land . . . 

She speaks with wisdom,

and faithful instruction is on her

tongue . . . 

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is

fleeting;

but a woman who fears the LORD is

to be praised.

Give her the reward she has earned,

and let her works bring her praise at

the city gate."

~selected verses from 

Proverbs 31

{emphasis, mine}

"Don't regret growing older. It's a privilege denied to many." ~Unknown 

I may stir up a little controversy here, but think about what I'm going to say . . .

As of this writing, I am 56 years old. My adult life has been, as has many others, a mix of good and bad ~ blessings and heartbreak ~ privilege and service ~ honor and humility. If you are a young woman, these "gifts" of life will be a part of your story as well. A story that will develop over time.

While talking to a dear friend today, our conversation reminded me of how, as young women, we (and possibly our husbands and others in the Christian community) put so much pressure on ourselves to live up to the Proverbs 31 Woman. Young women are thinking that they are failures because they can't do it all RIGHT NOW. Well . . . you're NOT failing, you're just rushing the process. NOT to say that you shouldn't do your best, you're just rushing the process. In this conversation, I spoke to my friend about a truth I discovered several years ago, at a time when I thought I was failing as a young wife and mother: 

**The Proverbs 31 Woman was OBVIOUSLY an older woman! Not only that, but she had household servants!**

How was I supposed to "compete" with that?!

Have you ever REALLY read the passage? Did you ever notice that? Let me show you:

she provides food for her family

and portions for her servant girls . . .

 

She IS NOT doing everything all by herself. Now, as Scripture clearing states, she is NOT lazy, but she is an older woman who is over-seeing a large, established household and directing her servant girls, and children, as to what to do and how to do it. On top of that, she is humble in her leadership and takes good care of her servant girls.

 

Her husband is respected at the city gate,

where he takes his seat among the 

elders of the land . . .

 

Here's another clue as to her age: Her husband is no spring chicken ~ only the elder, respected men in community leadership sat at the city gates. And in this case, not only was she a respected older woman, but her husband was a man who was old enough and respected enough to sit with the wise men at the city gate. This is where people of the town would come for advice, wisdom and to have minor disputes settled. Any disputes that they couldn't settle went to court. Only the most respected older men earned the right to sit there.

 

She speaks with wisdom,

and faithful instruction is on her

tongue . . .

 

If someone is seeking wisdom, they naturally go to an older, trusted person for wisdom, advice and instruction as to how to do something. This woman obviously has a well-established (over time) reputation for wise and faithful instruction.

 

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is

fleeting;

but a woman who fears the LORD is

to be praised.

Another sign that this is not a younger woman is that her lovely, outward beauty has started to fade and is now being replaced with the artful lines of age and experience, along with the glow of godly wisdom. And those who know her compliment her godly character.

Give her the reward she has earned,

and let her works bring her praise at

the city gate.

 

Her life of godly wisdom, instruction and character, the care she gives to her family, her hard work, her care for others, the way she instructs and cares for her servant girls has had such an impact upon those who know her and the community she serves, she is even praised among the wise leaders at the city gate ~ bringing much joy and pride to her husband who is also at the gate. 

You see . . . This is a reputation that was earned over years of godly service, hard work and some of the perks that age may bring to us. We may not have servant girls in this day and age, but we do have "household servants" in our kitchen appliances and household gadgets and machines that we use. And we do the very best we can with what the Lord has blessed us with.

 

So, if you are young wife and mommy, please DO YOUR BEST with what you have and what you know at this time of your life. If you need wisdom, first, go to God's Word. Second, go to your mom or if that's not possible, another godly older woman and develop a Titus 2-type relationship with her. Glean from her godly wisdom ~ everything from serving your family, cooking, frugal living, homeschooling, crafts, home-based business, home remedies, herbalism . . . and cover everything in prayer. God will answer those prayers.

And DO NOT put so much pressure on yourself to be the Proverbs 31 Woman so soon in your young life. This is a position that is GROWN INTO. Live your life for the Lord and for the good of your family and in service to others as best as you can. Before you know it, YOU will be 56 years old and wonderful young women (and others) will be coming to you, asking you questions, reading your blog :-D observing how you live and love, wanting to know how to do what you do.   

 

Blessings from Ohio . . . Kim<><