If I let it, this date can be the saddest day of my year. 27 years ago, today, was that saddest day of my life. Our dear daughter, our actual DD#1, went home to be with the Lord due to S.I.D.s. I miss her everyday and I can still "feel" how she felt in my arms. My precious first-born. The verse, above, is the verse that the Lord gave me as He comforted me after she passed. The drawing, above, was my gift to myself on my 1st Mother's Day ~ my arms were empty, but my heart was full.
For whatever reason, and for the 1st time in many years, I got out Jessica's baby book and looked through it . . . stories about her birth, milestones, her birth certificate ~ and her death certificate. There, too, is an old church newsletter ~ March 1986 ~ with an article I had written to thank our church family for their prayers & love & also to give them a little insight into our journey. I'll share parts of it with you . . .
Our Precious Brothers and Sisiters ~
How can Ty & I even begin to express how we feel about you, how much we love & appreciate you? How can we tell you how much yours concern, prayers & (the greatest of all) your love has meant to us? . . .
10/15/84 ~ 7:22 a.m. ~ the hardest & happiest day of our lives. Jessica came into our world. I conducted a little experiment: while I was pregnant, & knowing that unborn babies can hear, I started singing "Jesus Loves Me" very slowly, as a lullaby to my unborn child ~ & after she was born she KNEW it! No matter how upset she was this song would ease her in a matter of seconds . . .
1/11/86 ~ Jessi went home to Jesus at 11:37a.m. because of "Crib Death" (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). Her doctors were so shocked . . . But our God is so mighty & so good! He had great mercy on us by taking her without pain.
God is so good! He promised me that He would never leave me or forsake me & He didn't. His Spirit came out of every corner of that Emergency Trauma Room. As I sat there, holding & loving my darling daughter for the last time, all I could do was say praises to my Glorious Father! I told Him how much I love Him & that I do still trust Him. I thanked Him for trusting us with the great responsibility of loving & caring for her, & countless other things. But mostly I thanked Him that I will see her again & even though I don't understand now, soon I will know why all of this had to happen when I see Him face to face. And this "word" was confirmed as Mike [our pastor at the time] shared 1 Cor. 13:12 at the service. "Now we see but a poor reflection; when we shall see face to face. Now I know in part: then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."
Parents, listen to Jesus; He will give you insights into so many things. Jesus told me early in my pregnancy that this baby would be special & that hearts would be softened.
God is faithful. Please do not look at us as being "super spiritual" or "brave." We're not. In our weakness He is truly strong.
Hebrews 11:1 says, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Our faith has been strengthened, not just in our circumstances, but in the Jesus that we see in all of you.
Thank you all again for your love, support & prayers.